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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist ♥Dark♥United Kingdom Recent Activity
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.: Monster :.
"Monster.
How should I feel?
Creatures lie here,
Looking through the window." -Monster, Meg & Dia
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.: Strange :. by xDarkShadows
.: Strange :.
"I don't fit the picture
I'm not who you want me to be,
Sorry..." -Strange, Tokio Hotel ft Kerli

Full description on Instagram: instagram.com/x_darkshadows/
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Blaze new ref sheet by xDarkShadows
Blaze new ref sheet
New ref sheet for Blaze, find by kxng
Thank you so much, I love it so so much! :heart:
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Holy shit, okay, haven't put up a journal in over a year! The last one was around the end of May, I think¿

But just wanted to let anyone curious, yes, I do still use this platform, I've had some messages asking if I'm okay, and yes mostly I am, thank you for your concern it is appreciated.

But I guess it's that time where I need to figure out what I'm doing with my life, I'm nearly 17 on a college course that only has 13 weeks left and tbh, I'm kinda freaking out. Not just about what am I going to do when the course ends, and about who I am and I guess a personal battle with myself in my head, I know it sounds stupid and crazy and why should I be let out in public/a question I have asked myself many times/ but it's really hard, not only to figure yourself out, but also accept who you are, then panic about telling others and if they'll accept you or run a mile in the opposite direction, and I just don't know why, I'm sorry if you want to help, you can't help me, it's something in my head, if I don't understand it, then who's gonna?
Sometimes I just don't see the point, like, why am I here? What is my purpose? Why was I born? What am I meant to do? And I just feel really shit and get low about the whole situation, like last week I went away with collge for a week with hardly any contact with family, and when I got back Friday things seemed like they changed, I don't think they missed me, usually I got ordered around and I'd not long got back and already being yelled at for something I did it didn't do and I just thought, why the fuck am I here, or why am I just standing here taking it. The week away was mostly about self esteem and confidence and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and most of it I spent crying my eyes out, not wanting to do anything, turning my back on instructors and just not wanting to be there, on the last night I had a panic attack, we were filling out booklets that were to do with confidence and self esteem and I couldn't say anything good or nice about myself, so one of the mentors and I went and say down and she tried to ask me about stuff like, "do you like your eyes?" Being really nice to me and I just broke down and ran outside the cabin, sat on a bench and cried for hours, until it got  to evening meal and one of the guys in my group (he knows about me) asked me if I was okay and sat with me for ages, and I didn't want to eat and he said he wasn't going to let me not eat and brought a plate of food out, went back inside and brought his out too, he said he didn't think it was a good idea or didn't want to leave me on my own, and yeah, I was shocked, no one has ever done that before and this guy barely even knew me, we met the group a week before the week away trip.
I guess people do care, but anything good they say, I'll never believe and I hate myself even more for that.

deviantID

xDarkShadows
♥Dark♥
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United Kingdom
:skullbones:----------------------------♥Dark♥----------------------------:skullbones:
:bulletblack: Name: Dark
:bulletblack: Age: 15
:bulletblack: D.O.B: 3rd August 1998
:bulletblack: Gender: Female
:bulletblack: Nationality: British
✘----------------------------------------------------------------
I ♥ The Colour Black♥
✘----------------------------------------------------------------
Stamps:
Black Veil Brides Stamp by SammieSparxxBlack Veil Brides - commish by rainbeosBlack Veil Brides Stamp by Flynnux
I'm Part of the BVB Army stamp - REQUESTED by el-JimmeisterKnives and Pens by winter-ameBlack Veil Brides by winter-ame
Onision by AngelsFallFarOnision Forum Stamp by blue98Onision 2 by crow69
Bring me the Horizon Stamp by ScarsOfFreedomThree Days Grace Stamp by UzakaGearSleeping With Sirens Stamp by Flynnux
Tomb Raider 2013 by GtkShroomTomb Raider Survivior is Born Stamp by BechmdetisTomb Raider stamp by WhiteDevil350
True Friends Stamp by Mirz123Real Friends Stamp by Mirz123Miss My Friends Stamp by Mirz123
Veeeery good ideas... by 1FoxyladyValentine's Day Stamp by LissyFishythe rain stamp by Saytherine
Just cause I wear Black STAMP by silver-eyes-blueI heart Blood stamp by the-emo-detectiveBloody stamp by emptyidentityentity
14 Stamp - loveBLACK by amegionaI :heart: black by InkyMonsterI love black stamp by violetsteel
Green Day stamp by 5-3-10-4Green Day Stamp by josephhaubertBillie Joe stamp by KazultheDragon
My Chemical Romance Stamp by bob-wireMy Chemical Romance Stamp by CyanideSeasonMy Chemical Romance Stamp by Flynnux
Avril Love Stamp by WytseKloosAvril Lavigne Stamp by MajinPatWYWH Stamp by Drake1
Evanescence Fan by shaloneSKEvanescence Fan Stamp by My-Black-WidoWEvanescence Stamp by Erameline
Protected by Vampires stamp by purgatoriBAD GIRL stamp by DeviantSithVampire stamp by Tellien
Pain and Suffering by Mellow-StampsPain is Weakness by Mellow-StampsAddicted to Pain- Stamp by Alter-Ego-Chris
The Dark Side Stamp by Caddielook+Art Neglection Stamp+ by dantesgirlwat is love, y dose it hurt by ningakitty417
I love Horror moives by ohhperttylightsPainkiller by TheseKrimzonFlamesLove and Lose by Mellow-Stamps
I love black stamp by violetsteelI :heart: black by InkyMonster:I love red stamp by violetsteel
- Red - by Tifa22I love RED. by AomiArmsterlove stamp 2 by Vibeviant
Red by BluexRabbitxBlack by BluexRabbitxDA Stamps: black is love by eleoyasha
Just because I listen to--- by CaittheCatAwkward Stamp :3 by WolvenFlamesi love the dark by spidermonkey-lol

✘----------------------------------------------------------------
:bulletblack:People I Know In Real Life;
    :iconkxng::iconpumpkinpupp::iconraw-r::iconicecreamfondue:
Interests
Holy shit, okay, haven't put up a journal in over a year! The last one was around the end of May, I think¿

But just wanted to let anyone curious, yes, I do still use this platform, I've had some messages asking if I'm okay, and yes mostly I am, thank you for your concern it is appreciated.

But I guess it's that time where I need to figure out what I'm doing with my life, I'm nearly 17 on a college course that only has 13 weeks left and tbh, I'm kinda freaking out. Not just about what am I going to do when the course ends, and about who I am and I guess a personal battle with myself in my head, I know it sounds stupid and crazy and why should I be let out in public/a question I have asked myself many times/ but it's really hard, not only to figure yourself out, but also accept who you are, then panic about telling others and if they'll accept you or run a mile in the opposite direction, and I just don't know why, I'm sorry if you want to help, you can't help me, it's something in my head, if I don't understand it, then who's gonna?
Sometimes I just don't see the point, like, why am I here? What is my purpose? Why was I born? What am I meant to do? And I just feel really shit and get low about the whole situation, like last week I went away with collge for a week with hardly any contact with family, and when I got back Friday things seemed like they changed, I don't think they missed me, usually I got ordered around and I'd not long got back and already being yelled at for something I did it didn't do and I just thought, why the fuck am I here, or why am I just standing here taking it. The week away was mostly about self esteem and confidence and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and most of it I spent crying my eyes out, not wanting to do anything, turning my back on instructors and just not wanting to be there, on the last night I had a panic attack, we were filling out booklets that were to do with confidence and self esteem and I couldn't say anything good or nice about myself, so one of the mentors and I went and say down and she tried to ask me about stuff like, "do you like your eyes?" Being really nice to me and I just broke down and ran outside the cabin, sat on a bench and cried for hours, until it got  to evening meal and one of the guys in my group (he knows about me) asked me if I was okay and sat with me for ages, and I didn't want to eat and he said he wasn't going to let me not eat and brought a plate of food out, went back inside and brought his out too, he said he didn't think it was a good idea or didn't want to leave me on my own, and yeah, I was shocked, no one has ever done that before and this guy barely even knew me, we met the group a week before the week away trip.
I guess people do care, but anything good they say, I'll never believe and I hate myself even more for that.

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:iconskyew0lf:
skyew0lf Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wait....you like BVB TOO?!?!? Llama Emoji-01 (Laughing) [V1] 
Reply
(2 Replies)
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner May 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fav.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbulgarianchick93:
Bulgarianchick93 Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014  Student Artist
Woah!! thanks for all of the addings and favs!! :heart:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconnekomellow:
NekoMellow Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014
Thankies for the Watch! :iconbigmeowplz:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcrystalgrim:
CrystalGrim Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the many faves^^
Reply
(1 Reply)
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